Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize