You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
