I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
