i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
