No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
this beer tastes like vomit already
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
