my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
