i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize