90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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