I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
