At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize