Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
