I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Acid is not a monday night drug
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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