How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My bed smells like the plague
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
