READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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