i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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