you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
