Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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