You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
