So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
