If i come over, it means nothing
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
