im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize