its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
