I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
