I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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