she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
