This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
