They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
