I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
