Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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