The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
