HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
