My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
