I'm drive I can fine osifer
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize