You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
