guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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