You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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