i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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