i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
