I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
