im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
