left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
