who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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