oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize