just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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