i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
are you so shy because you have an std?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
