No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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