this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize