If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
