She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
