Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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