I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
