If i could tip my vagina, i would.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I have post one night stand depression
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
