You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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