she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
