he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
