did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
