I'm lost and stupid without you.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Its about making memories worth repressing
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Drunk is a universal language darling
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