i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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