the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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