That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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