No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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