You work out of a Hotel?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
No subtext here. People are naked.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
