It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
