make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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