I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We left the knife in your bed.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize