Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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