Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize