is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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