apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
