He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
