I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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