who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
