You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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