Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
