No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You took a bar mat shot.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
