yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
