I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize