is your mom at the bar?
I'm jealous of your bromance
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
