Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
