just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
