I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
