do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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