dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize